Actual, unretouched snapshot of me taking center stage at a recently opened FEMA reeducation camp — where I declared my new-found liberal persona while surrounded by a loving, richly-paid staff of US government employees and rabbis. Can you feel the love?
OK, I’ve decided to throw in the towel, people.
Look, we all know how oppressed and downtrodden all the minorities are — thanks to the efforts of Evil Whitey people like me, us stealth racists who spend all our time plotting the eventual enslavement of the Jieuxs, Kneegrows and Homows! It’s just too much work anymore, trying to be a Fourth Reich kind of guy.
So, for now on, all the Jieuxs, Kneegrows and Homows are like the greatest people — EVER! Yep, we all know how wonderful it is having them here in the good old USA. What would we EVER do without them?
I mean look at the Jeiuxs. They’re so smart and clever. Thanks to them we have a vibrant economy, plenty of monopoly money to play with, the yearly brain-teaser of filling out tax forms and, of course, the always exciting daily news from Wall Street. Jieuxs are so concerned about civic duty, that they’ve taking on themselves the whole job of printing and dispensing of our money. What would we do without them?
Thanks to how nicely the Jeiuxs treat others in their “returned homeland,” all the rest of the world now sends us their love and kisses. Because of that, we now even have a bunch of people working in our airports to frisk our Grandmas, looking for any “special presents” the rest of the world might send our way.
And all positions of government influence need — no, demand — those smart Jeiuxs showing us how to run things and make friends and influence people across the globe. Thanks to them, our troops now get to play with some kick-ass toys in all those far-off foreign lands while making the natives free and happy from any evil non-Jieux approved Dictators!
And speaking of Evil Dictators: Where would we be without those non-stop WWII movies about the Nazis goosestepping all across Europe, chasing down and shooting up the poor, street-urchin Jieuxs, left and right? Think about the huge money in book publishing, too; every Christmas we get the same old tired history books with the same old tired black and white photos of Hitler a-screaming, the Panzars a-rolling, the Luftwaffe a-bombing and the Gestapo a-knocking — all just to kill you Jieuxs while taking over the entire planet!
You Jieuxs are so queer for Der Fuehrer man — without him, where would you even be? Admit it, you love him!
Those across-the-board evil and ever-so-methodical Germans — every dam one of them — in their ever German logic, decided to use some barely lethal bug spray or diesal exhaust to kill your butts — instead of all those tons of Sarin nerve gas they had collecting dust in storage; right along with using mountains of critical coal reserves (yet never seen) for the cremation of so many thousands per day — just so gullible American and British would never know. You were just that special!
The imagination of Jieuxs knows no bounds; all of you somehow manage to have relatives lost and the number of miraculous survivors just so happens to increase every year. This kind of “chutzpah” richly deserves all our billions of dollars and marks — and forever, of course!
And no other race has ever suffered such horrors — anywhere. Armenia, Rwanda, Cambodia pale in comparison to the Jeiux’s eternal sufferink. It goes without saying that we need to forget all about the millions of White Gentiles shot in the back of the head or starved to death by all the Commie Jieuxs in Russia. We don’t want to hear it — never could it be as tragic as any dead Jieux!
Even all us American and British Whites, who had to go over there and die ourselves to free you, now need to be reminded every minute of every day — since we also happen to be White SOBs, just like the Nazis. And we had better believe every bit of the whole story — no questions asked — or our White ass might go to jail.
And Jieuxs are indeed so exciting to look at; they know very well what a handsome and sexy people they all think they are. Smart, hot-looking, nepotistic and conniving when it comes to the rest of us. Can and will kick Arab ass any time they feel like it (but much prefer having us take care of the dirty work whenever possible). Brainwasher of White nations and arch financial vampires of the West!
If all that wasn’t enough, we also get Hollywood visionaries, insightful funny men, concerned social activists and all kinds of worldly-wise press commentators — all working their little Jieux butts off 24/7 on their very own mainstream TV news, papers and magazines — just to keep us country-bumpkins always completely and honestly informed, right along with making us want to be cool by sleeping with the Kneegrows!
And where would all those Kneegrows and Homows be without the Jieux’s vigorous efforts in making them our worshipped heroes, sex objects and symbols of our justified White guilt? Nowhere! You Kneegrows and Homows should bow down before the Jieux and assure them of your eternal subservience while promising to keep an eye on us pesky straight Whites.
I think that the Jieuxs are like the best people ever! They tell us that God said as much, so it must be true.
But then, of course, we have the happy-go-lucky Kneegrows: Slapping those shanks to some far-out Jungle beat, a rythym always kindly shared by having the volume turned up full blast! And don’t forget to smile at them whenever you look their way; if you’re having a bad day you don’t want them to mistake you being a racist, now.
Just like the victimized Jieuxs they took a page from, all of us evil Whiteys had better never forget about slavery 150 dam years ago. It’s still the only thing in history Kneegrows care to learn; yet, even then, it somehow escapes them that it was their very own kind who sold them in the first place and it was the Jieux who took care of all the postage and handling!
And it’s just great that the Kneegrows are always trying to get words taking out of the dictionary, since they don’t like them; words like “niggardly,” “boy,” “militant,” “socialist,” “them,” “nappy,” “hoes,” etc. etc. This kind of thing helps cut down on the size of books and makes room for more imaginative street slang. And every few years they up and decide what we’re allowed to call them, which always makes things interesting and fun trying to keep track of.
And just think of all the laughs we get from them in the movies! All kinds of wild and crazy Kneegrow hijinks, right along with all those incredible bust-a-move dance routines. And dam, you have such brave leading men and smart computer hackers that always save the day in our movies now. It’s all just too cool for school — whoops — Whitey talk! Us White people are always so blasé and humdrum, right? Pass de splif, MOFOs!
Boy, I wish I was a Kneegrow!
Another cool thing is how you keep life on the streets exciting and on edge. It keeps us all on our toes — no matter what the age. Who says we have to join the military to get in a little close-quarter combat? Or that the old Wild West is dead and gone? There’s always a place nearby that’s just like the OK Corral, every weekend. Good thing we have this too, so as to keep our police, forensic investigators, ambulance drivers, EMT techs, medical examiners, judges, court-appointed attorneys, prosecutors, bail-bondsman, ER doctors and nurses, prison guards, court stenographers, legal clerks, etc. etc. all working hard for our personal property tax dollars.
Kneegrows are so smart and talented; along with natural rhythm, the ability to out-jump any White man and such snazzy taste in clothes — thank goodness we’ll have them around to lead us into a brighter future!
Now we got ourselves a kinda, sorta Kneegrow prez for the first time. A skinny one, with some murky origins and a smooth, Whitey way of talking. With him, we’re sure to have great things in our future — just because he’s a Kneegrow and he’ll be honest like Kneegrows always are. And he’ll have lots of Jieuxs around to tell him what to do, but only in case he needs them, of course.
We won’t have to worry about a thing, now. Didn’t politicians used to promise a chicken in every pot? If a Kneegrow guy can’t deliver on that one, I don’t know who can!
Yep, we sure are lucky having all you Kneegrows around as bossmen of all the cities in the US. Or what’s left of them. Us Whitey liberals might be allowed to move downtown and clean up distressed property, but we sure as hell can forget about becoming a true political force in that city again. The Kneegrows will now take care of all those complicated management matters for us!
Because the Kneegrows, next to the Jieuxs of course, are so smart and clever!
Then we have the dandy and always so fashionable Homows prancing about. Next to the Kneegrows, you people really have some serious flair. Homows are always on the cutting edge and know taste like no tomorrow. Good thing, too. Where would we be without all you Über-creative types telling us how to look?
Pink chiffon frills, red velvet trousers, Queen Anne Lace, black Leather halter straps, camouflage tutus, rubberized sports, military and police uniforms, Boy Scout ensembles, Chinchilla (whatever that is) jackets, feathered Boas, too tight IZOD sports shirts and whity-tighty underwear, spank-me spandex anything.
Homows really know how to mix and match!
Yep, it’s always a joy to see all those celebratory parades on our city streets, in front of our children and visiting rubes from the countryside; showing off such wonderful, expressive forms of clothing — right along with clever signs, raucous behavior and drunken sidewalk sex between flabby strangers. And let’s not forget all the entertainment to be had by guessing which of you is what and likes doing whom. Or what.
You have your males who look like males and like doing males, your males who like looking like females but like doing males, your females who look like males but like females who look like females, your something or other doing God knows what …oh, never mind!
You Homows are just too much! I love you silly guys, gals and something or others, really.
And then we are always treated to Federal court-step crying spectacles and sublime hissy-fits over wanting to be just like all us normal, boring breeders. Gawd, we all know you don’t want that. Can someone please remind them? Like now?
Another thing, that we’re so blessed with, is having Jieuxs who are Homows at the very same time. What could be sweeter, right? The Jieux Kneegrow Homow? No, we can’t be so lucky since it’s been ruled genetically impossible (they are a race, not a religion). Unless, of course, the father was Kneegrow, the mother was Jieux and the son was a Homow — that would make him the ultimate in social/political trifectas. Too bad we don’t have them, since such a creature would surely be our prez by now. Hmmmm.
And what would our health insurance rates be like without Homows? In the gutter I tell you. All the billions that the Insurance Industry has to figure into the rates for everyone, including us well-off straights, just so they can make enough to afford those expensive specialty medicines that you Homows will need eventually — when another disgusting new disease starts radiating out from Castro street.
And think about all the daily drama we get treated to; the emotional upheavals over that ten minutes of lost love down at the bus station restroom, all the sorrow over mismatched outfits and misplaced bottles of anal lube. All the pain and suffering when trying to sit down to brunch after last night’s meth party with those fun boys from Cleveland.
I was wrong about the Jieuxs and Kneegrows. The Homows are the real-life Heroes of America! No, wait, all of you are just great — I was like so wrong about all you people. You are truly the greatest and most heroic Americans ever!
Will all you Jieuxs, Kneegrows and Homows ever forgive me? I am so in your debt now — after returning from reeducation camp — that I’ll continue my lovely blog here, just so I can regain your love and trust. Please, please, puh-weeeeeze come back and bless us all with your pithy words, your parroted liberal slogans and inspiring pearls of wisdom in my comment sections.
Us evil, stupid, boring, tasteless, ignorant, inbred, backwoods, white trash, bigoted, racist, trailer-park living and insipid Whites, Nazis, Klansman, Supremacists, Rednecks, Meanies, Hillbillies, Crackers, Nativists and Xenophobes will ever be so thankful!
Yep, it’s high time INCOG MAN turns over a new leaf since January 20th is coming up fast and I had better get on the stick with my newly reformed, White old self. You hear me FBI agents, ADL and SPLC operatives? Do come back. Tootles!
Love, INCOG MAN.