OK, all you evil White racists out there: Time for a tip of the hat to the wonders of black history! What would we do without black creativity and invention, I ask you? Peanut butter, the stoplight, refrigerator and dustpan — you name one single, helpful modern-day device and you’ll find that it was a black who invented it! Or at least someone who says they did.
And I know I’m running a little behind on the timing of this article — it was just so hard picking a few sterling examples from such a wealth of black wonders out there. You know that’s the truth. But I think I did a pretty good job casting a spotlight upon the wonderful black race. See what you think by clicking “continue reading.”
BLACK PEOPLE: No need to click on the “continue” button. You already know how great you are. This is only for the re-education of us racist Whites — cracker rednecks jealous of all your accomplishments, selfless invention and enormously civilized behavior. Let me also take a moment while I’m at it, to thank you from the bottom of my black little white heart for your race’s greatness and apologize again and again — AND AGAIN — for the slavery my ancestors may or may not have inflicted upon your amazingly GD noble race!
Efficiency testing for law enforcement and EMT personnel.
Breakthroughs in theoretical space-time physics.
Advancing personal communication technology.
Wealth redistribution for needy gluteus maximus regions.
Never-ending Mandela and MLK poetry and literature.
Dats da shizzle, raycis muthafugguhs!
— INCOG MAN